I'm herewith advocating for the cessation of Mother's Day. Why? Because whether we mean to or not we have expectations for that date that just leave others (or ourselves) doomed for failure. Case in point: my mother's day. Granted the week leading up to the "big day" didn't help the cause any. In order to illustrate my point, I will tell you the "highlights."
Sunday, May 4th: Jacob had the onset of a stomach virus last night and is still sick. Looks like I have the same virus as Jacob. Yuck! I hate being sick. (It wouldn't be such a bad thing except for its the direct result of service. Aren't we supposed to be blessed for that?) I'm in charge of teacher appreciation week for Lindsey's school next week and am supposed to take breakfast to the teachers in the morning. Great.
Monday, May 5th: Felt functional, Jacob was still home sick. Had kids make mother's day cards for Grandma. (I am so proud of myself for not procrastinating until the last minute.) Breakfast for the teacher's worked thanks to Rick's culinary skills.
Wednesday, May 7th: Feeling a little sick, but made it to the Alan Jackson concert. (Which was great, we had second row, smack in the middle, seats.) Woke up sick. Sicker than I had felt for a long time. It was the middle of the night, who could I call to stay here and take care of Ethan when he wakes up? I debated whether or not I should call Rick. He was in Spokane flying out for a business trip in a few hours. Definitely not feeling better, called Rick. He came home and canceled his trip.
Thursday, May 8th: Feeling functional, yet guilty that I had Rick miss his trip as I could have muddled through OK.
Saturday May 10th: Did yard work. Rick "threw out" his back. He literally could not stand or move.
Sunday, May 10th, Mother's Day: Rick got up and made me breakfast even though he was in pain. Kids made me cute cards. Lindsey made a card for me from Rick. Rick couldn't sit so didn't go to church. I Found a YW to sit with the kids while I played organ. Lindsey sat up with me on the stand. She talked and tapped her feet. Went down to sit with kids after sacrament song. Lindsey and Jacob started fighting over the crayons actually trying to yank them out of each others hands. Lindsey called me the rudest mom ever (and not quietly) because I take the crayons away since they are fighting over them. Emily is talking. As a matter of fact, I don't remember my kids ever being this bad in church. The talks are on being a good mom and teaching your children correctly. All I can think is I am a terrible mom - my kids can't even sit through church and I am so embarrassed. Come home after church at 2:30. Clean up breakfast, have lunch, clean up lunch, make dinner, clean up dinner and finally sit down at 6:00. Did I mention I broke the microwave? Where's my day off? My flowers? Complained to Rick that I've had a crappy day. I now feel bad because he feels bad when it isn't his fault considering he did the best he could do. Talked to my mom who thanked me for the flowers but she wanted letters. Viki's kids gave her a card. (Oh crap, the cards we made, I didn't mail them. Not only am I a bad mom, but I'm a bad daughter.) Oh, and happy mother's day.
On any other Sunday would I have had such intense feelings about these blips in life? Probably not. I submit that it was the expectations for the day that made things seem worse then they really were. Rick may not have given me a day off on Mother's day, but he more than outshone himself the week prior. Yet, I still felt bad on Mother's Day. Selfish, I think so. Now I not only am feeling bad that I didn't have an ideal Mother's Day, but now I am feeling bad that I felt bad when I should have been more grateful and appreciative.
My conclusion: No mother's day. No guilt. Case closed.
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2 comments:
Almost every mom I talked to had a similar experience last Sunday. As for me, I just tried to escape from the chapel before getting the honorary "here's some chocolate to make you feel better" gifts. :) This is all about expectations: as one of my friends once proclaimed, "I've decided I just need to stop wanting ANYTHING!" Glad you have a good sense of humor about it all!
Could you be pregnant? All this feeling queasy has me wondering if saying that Jacob had it first was trying to avert the assumption. I don't know . . . ;O).
I'm with Anny, never expect anything, it always falls short. I have to tell you I feel like this on birthdays too. I can hardly remember a birthday where I didn't feel somehow cheated. I'd be happy to get rid of those too. Selfishness is pretty natural for me. AND, neither my mom or my mother-in-law (bless her heart) got anything personal from us. Which is funny now that I think of it because my natural response would be "be grateful you got anything" yet I am far from grateful for what I got. Ahh, the ironies of life. I guess you just grin and bear it. And I'm really kidding about the pregnant part.
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